1 big t-bone,  1.5" thick minimum

2 russet potatoes

3-4 jalapeños

4 oz cream cheese

6-8 strips of thick bacon

a bunch of cheddar, parmesan, the end of any good cheese hanging out in the crisper

a few green onions

bacon bits

a few splashes of heavy cream

garlic salt

salt n pepper

1 iceberg head

some croutons (just pan fry or air fry any bread you got laying around)

1 tsp hamburger seasoning (Mrs. Dash, McCormicks, whoever)

lil bundle of thyme sprigs

splash of worcestershire sauce

1 whole garlic bulb cut in half in it’s skin

1 stick of butter

1 bag instant light charcoal

1 small wedge of real gooey almost yellowy blue cheese (the stankiest you can find)

1 piece of fatback

1 heirloom german johnson or cherokee purple tomato (fresh, farmer market, can’t get it from the grocery store, won’t taste the same)

1 bag of the crustiest onion rings in the freezer section (alexa’s are good)

½ ranch dressing (litehouse is good or make it—buy from the cold section of dressings, not the room temp shelf)

½ cup of blue cheese dressing (same rule as above)

1 shallot

1 sleeve of frozen store brand garlic bread

half moon sauce (ramekin that’s half heinz 57 and half A1)

handful of pepperoncinis

2-4 james bond level stiff martinis —do some with vodka and lemon twists and do some extra dirty with gin and castelvetrano olives (from the bar not the jar)

¼ cup of any red wine that’s not sweet (can be old and open too you’re just using it up for compound butter)